The pot overfloweth

To explain to all and any that know me where I am at this point......you get a Joenalogy. Anyone who knows me knows that I use analogies but these are my special kind.

I am a pot. Filled with water. Water being emotion...it easily flows. It also can overflow. I sit upon the burner filled to the rim. No room to boil. No room to empty. To try to remove any water, I'll spill over. To try to do anything but give it time to evaporate or maybe even very low heat, things end in splashing. Only time and patience will allow the pot to empty.




Every morning of every day I wake in the usual manner. I think of all the things I can do and all the things I want to take on. I feel as if I can do none of them. Work, food, even thinking requires effort. Those around me kick my ass to get me in gear because my face must be an open book. I have Erika to thank for the reality check that I most recently have had. She has been a sister to me in so many ways. I have cried thinking of memories only to have her give me words that came from karens mouth. If it were not for her, I'd be even more lost than I already am. She took me under her wing to look out for her "little brother" and in dealing with her own pain and misery she tries to fix me. I realize how everyone is reaching out to help me. I've come to realize this is something I cannot let someone else fix. I cannot do it the way everyone else thinks is best. I have to survive the way I know best. So today I await the arrival of my parents, thinking of what fun times are to come. I have the smiles ready and the laughter prepared. Hopefully it will be genuine. I will be leaving The Ernst residence tomorrow with thankfulness in my heart. Had The Ernst family not been here for me, I would have been lost myself.

From the bottom of my heart, Thank you Erika, Ann and Coach.

If you ever need anything, I will do what I can from wherever I am. I am entirely grateful for your intervention.

Erika, Through all of this you have pulled me through this darkness just as karen would have. Your blunt reality checks have been a smile. You gave me something no one could have given me. Last moments with karen. I can never repay you.

Ann, Your understanding and kindness has been an experience like no other. Thank you for helping me keep strong in my faith.

Coach, Thanks for being an ear and understanding where I am coming from.

Duke, Maybe next time you can bite me...lol (inside joke)

I love you guys. I will see you again when lives have been sorted out.